How to talk the talk on a date

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Kezia Noble (pictured) is a leading female dating coach for men and author of The Noble Art of Seducing Women. She was nice enough to share some of her knowledge for the good of men everywhere. 

1.  Make her feel special not idolised. This means you need to avoid giving out the endless wave of vague compliments, which she will eventually become bored of, and replace them with detailed compliments which feel as though they are completely tailor made for her and nobody else.

2. Make a deep connection. Rather than trying desperately to find as many surface’ commonalties’ as possible, try instead to focus your questions on finding out ‘why’ and ‘what ‘ she feels about what she does, or what she likes. You’ve got to try and get in touch with her feelings, yeah I said it, feelings. Once you make that deeper connection, you’ll find that you will be able to sustain her attention for much longer. 

3. Make sure the conversation is two-way. Many men end up either asking the woman a series of questions, that ends up feeling like some sort of ‘’interrogation’ or they go to the other side of the spectrum and end up only talking about themselves. Always be aware of how much you’re talking about yourself and how much time you’re asking her questions, and make the alterations needed to keep a healthy balance.

4.Make sure your verbal and non-verbal communication are congruent with each other. This means that you need to be aware that what you’re saying and how you are describing yourself is being backed up by your body language. It doesn't matter how confident you might sound, or how exciting and successful your lifestyle is, if your body language spells uncertainty, awkwardness and nerves she will be able to sense it.

5. Be cheeky, Women always love a cheeky guy. This of course does not mean rude, and there is of course a fine line that you need to monitor sometimes. Cheekiness demonstrates confidence and humour, and it gives the chance for the woman to enjoy some playful banter of her own. 

6. Embrace the silences, otherwise they become uncomfortable. It is inevitable that a dead end or a silence will pop up in the interaction. This even happens with people we know and get on well with, so it’s bound to happen with someone you’ve just met. Instead of trying desperately to fill up the silence with uninspiring questions or pointless chatter, just smile and be confident enough in yourself and the flow of conversation to either let the moment pass naturally or for the woman to make the effort to get things going instead of you doing all the hard work.

7. Use emotional descriptions rather than facts. Women don't usually want to know how many hours it took a guy to get to his holiday destination, or how much the hotel was, or what the exact measurements of the pool were. We want to get a sense of the feelings that are associated with the holiday that you went on and what the experience of eating new cuisines and discovering new customs or cultures were like for you. Women connect far better through feeling based descriptions rather than factual ones. 

See more dating advice from Kezia Noble here.

Kezia Noble