Photograph: Andreas Kambanis (Creative Commons)
It’s easy to make friends on Strava, the wildy popular running app that brings exercise fiends across the world together to track their runs and bike rides.
However, it’s also easy to make enemies on Strava. Whether it’s cheating on a segment to set a new record and claim the King of the Mountain (KOM) title, or spamming feeds with bizarre activities, there are plenty of ways people infuriate their fellow Strava users.
To help you avoid these pitfalls, here are 21 lessons in Strava etiquette learned from the must-follow Twitter account @stravawankers.
1. Make sure your routes look good from above
When running and cycling gets boring, plan your runs to produce a birds-eye treat.
84.4 miles. The distance it took @StephenLund1 to complete the most impressive piece of Strava art we’ve ever seen. #YearInSport pic.twitter.com/UpnPZEALgDDecember 22, 2016
RECOMMENDED: This Guy On Strava Is Drawing Christmas Pictures With His Running Routes
2. “I was flying” should only refer to fast sessions
Yes flights can be boring. No that doesn't mean you should Strava them.
"I wonder what will happen if I Strava this plane journey..."You'll end up on Stravawankers Tim, that's what'll happen 🙄#planewanker pic.twitter.com/noLlvGyDiuNovember 21, 2016
3. Giving kudos is good, giving too much kudos is creepy
This is the Strava equivalent of going through someone’s Facebook and liking every profile photo going back to 2013.
4. The Strava dress code is the same as Tesco’s
Pyjamas are a bit much.
How far would you go to make the top of your local leaderboard? Is a 1/2km pyjama run on a Sunday evening pushing it a little bit too far? pic.twitter.com/PIydISSX2iNovember 21, 2016
5. Accept your limitations
Some Strava segments will just be beyond you.
@stravawankers I think I may struggle to get this KOM pic.twitter.com/BZNyZ0jLc0December 13, 2016
6. If cycling indoors, try and stay in place
Either someone’s GPS struggled to cope with an indoor training session, or this is the worst attempt at a Strava illustration ever.
You're such a beast on the Turbo that it launches through the window, into the street and through the neighbours garden! 😮 @stravawankers pic.twitter.com/pDRAobDnYSDecember 6, 2016
7. Strava is not the place for wall stands
Strava is a great fitness app, but there are other great apps for recording your bodyweight workouts.
"Did you work out today?""Yeah, I stood against the wall""Oh, cool" 😳#stravawanker pic.twitter.com/uUcmPff2BsOctober 26, 2016
8. Or touch rugby
To be fair there might not be an app for tracking touch rugby.
@stravawankers pic.twitter.com/tWmTmZM9M9October 25, 2016
9. Or gardening
There almost certainly isn’t an app for tracking gardening.
Another bit of weekend wankering from Chris who obviously isn't allowed out on his bike today!#stravawanker pic.twitter.com/C5015Bo92LOctober 22, 2016
10. Spectating is no barrier to participation
It turns out you can cover an impressive amount ground while watching someone else run.
When you can't run a race so you Strava your spectating to make yourself feel better 😳 pic.twitter.com/uNn7Hi49WONovember 6, 2016
11. There’s no need for holiday bragging
Facebook is where you brag about holidays. And Twitter. And Instagram. And Snapchat. Basically, you have options, Strava isn't one of them.
When you're just putting all the waterproof kit on for a wet ride out and you open Strava and see this#stravawanker #holidaywanker pic.twitter.com/uixFT6VryqOctober 12, 2016
12. If you can cycle at 400mph, head for the Olympics, not Strava
No-one can be sure this man isn’t the fastest cyclist on the planet until we see him take on Jason Kenny.
@stravawankers fastest cyclist in the world reaches 400mph... #stravawanker pic.twitter.com/v8fARg3UM3December 19, 2016
13. If you miss a target, don’t play the blame game
You can always hit 1,000 miles next year.
When Strava gets blamed for you not hitting your mileage targets for 2016! #stravawanker pic.twitter.com/xOoPQ6WCI7December 30, 2016
14. Foam rolling doesn’t need GPS Tracking
Getting a new activity tracker is exciting, but wait till you do some actual activity before testing it out.
Oooo a new Garmin for Christmas, I know, let's test it out with a 'foam rolling' session! Makes sense 🙄#stravawanker pic.twitter.com/Dj5CjpMQfhDecember 30, 2016
15. If you borrow someone’s watch, make sure Strava isn’t running
That advice is especially true for anyone who steals activity trackers. It’s basically rule number one when stealing activity trackers.
16. Some days you won’t run or cycle, no-one needs to know why
It might seem surprising, but none of your Strava followers are actually following your activity that closely.
Those people that HAVE to tell you why they haven't run or ridden that day! Nobody cares #Stravawanker pic.twitter.com/Oyjd6YkZbkJanuary 5, 2017
17. There might even be entire weeks when you don’t need to use Strava
A 0.1-mile walk isn’t going to fire you up any leaderboards anyway.
18. Don’t overdo it on the mid-run snacks
Co-op does stock some tasty, tasty treats.
Not sure what Chris bought at the Co-op but it had a negative effect on his pace. Maybe buy energy bars next time eh? #stravawanker pic.twitter.com/yejirXqeffOctober 4, 2016
19. Don't fill in your personal details too quickly
Especially the section marked gender.
@stravawankers hmmm something looks out of place. pic.twitter.com/WRUvsvPCDoSeptember 28, 2016
20. Always, always work in round numbers
Sure, there is no real difference between 99.9 miles and 100 miles, but still.
A proper cyclist wouldn't leave a week like this!Manual upload that 0.1 and confirm your place as a #stravawanker pic.twitter.com/RsKWgjk94tSeptember 18, 2016
21. Really, a jet ski?
We give up.
Oh dear @stravawankers pic.twitter.com/20CBp9JlRsSeptember 17, 2016
